Konaha Elementary
by I am a purple crayon
Summary: this is a total crack fic. What would you do if only Sakura and Sasuke were teens and the rest were in kindergarden, except Kakashi, their female teacher.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto**

**This is an AU crack fic. You will tell because of many things**

Konaha Elementary

"Welcome our new student teachers, Haruno Sakura, and Uchiha Sasuke. Now be the little angels I know you are" Ms. Kakashi Hatake said. A little boy with his thumb in his mouth and blonde hair so spiky it could poke an eye out

"Hi" he said to Sakura, taking his thumb out of his mouth "I'm Uzumaki Naruto, back off teme, she's mine"

"Uh, that's sweet…" Sakura replied, Sasuke was still in shock about a 5 year old calling him a bastard. A little boy with long black hair tugged on Ms. Hatake's sleeve.

"Ms. Hatake, Naruto said a bad word"

"Yes he did, now let me get back to reading make out paradise"

"Wow, you useless" a little girl with black hair in buns came up

"You can totally tell they like each other" she said

"Well, we have that closet that locks from the outside" the boy said

"Neji, you're a genius!"

"I know."

"Don't push it"

"Sorry Tenten"

"Let me take care of this" Tenten walked up to Sakura "Oneechan, will you help me, I lost my dolly"

"Sure little girl" Tenten led her over to the open closet

"You hate Uchihasan, right. How would you like to push him into the locking closet"

The plan continues soon….

Happy Birthday Sasuke


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, it has been a long time since I updated. I hope my writing skills got better. Anyway -insert random disclaimer here- BTW, this is not NaruIno**

**Sakura's POV**

Where we left off.

"You hate Uchihasan, right. How would you like to push him into the locking closet" A little girl with two black buns on the top of her head.

"Uh, hate is such, such a strong word." I struggled to find the words. What did Ms. Kakashi teach her students? And I saw make out paradise in the mall, and let me just say, that is not the book you should be reading around small children. "And you should _never_ push someone into a locking closet."

"Like I give a shit about what I should and should not do." She exploded at me. Seriously, what is with these children!

"Let's not use bad words, young child." I managed.

"I'm not a young child, my name is Tenten!" She yelled. Next thing I know, two hands slam into my side and I go flying into the closet. That is one strong kid.

**Tenten POV**

I ran over to the closet and locked the door. Then I took a moment to step back and look at my handiwork. Maybe Neji is right. Maybe I do belong jail. But I have to say, I've never been more happier to be called a criminal.

"Neji, Haruno-neechan is in the closet!" I reported. He looked at me in shock.

"What! That completely ruins the plan!" Neji exclaimed. I realized what he thought I meant, and smacked hard on the arm. "Ow!"

"That's not what I meant, baka!" I corrected. "I pushed her in the closet!" I nearly yelled

"Shh," He slapped his hand to my mouth. What is this! My heart is beating so fast, maybe I'm sick. "You might give it away. And wasn't she supposed to push Uchiha-niisan in the closet."

"She wouldn't do it, so I improvised!" I explained. Neji took a deep breath.

"You're 'improvisation' is to push her in a closet. You are such criminal!"

"And damn proud of it." I replied.

**Meanwhile, in Normal POV**

"Oi teme! Where's Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked Sasuke.

"Why would you expect me to know, dobe." Sasuke shot back, forgetting that Naruto was 5 years old. He was taken aback.

"You're not allowed to call me that!" He said in that whiny little kid voice.

"And what makes you think that you are allowed to call me 'teme'. And while we're at it, what give you the right to call Haruno-san by her first name! You just met her!"

"Yes, but we are meant to be." Naruto mused. Sasuke was flustered.

"You're 5 years old!"

"I'm 5 and a half." Naruto added. Sasuke ignored him.

"Sakura is 18. Her being with you would be pedophilia!" Sasuke explained.

"I don't know what 'pedophilia' means, but I think I just got assaulted." Naruto thought out loud.

"It would be 'insulted', nimrod." A child with long blonde hair tied back in in a ponytail. Yes, it was none other than Yamanaka Ino.

"Don't butt into my conversation, woman." Naruto copied something he saw a lady do on TV.

"Uchiha-niisan isn't all yours!" Ino put her hands on her hips. Sasuke backed out.

"I can talk to Sasuke all I want" Naruto yelled. Ino gasped.

"My mommy says that you shouldn't call people by their first names unless they are you're really good friends. And it is rude to drop honorifics!" Ino informed him. They started bickering.

"Go to hell."

"Make me"

"If you insist." Ino pounced on Naruto, throwing little punches. Naruto kicked her off and pulled her hair.

"Aren't you gonna do something?" Sasuke asked Miss Kakashi. She looked up.

"Why would I?" She answered, before going back to her book. Sasuke sighed. He would have to do things himself. He walked over and pulled the children off of each other and held them suspended above the ground.

"I don't like when you little brats fight. You may be able to get away with this with your normal lazy teacher..." Kakashi looked up and smiled. "But it pisses the hell out of me. So just stop." Sasuke dropped the children as he finished and walked away.

"What a jerk. He can't do that to me." Naruto muttered. He looked at Ino.

"He's so... dreamy."

**And this is where we will end. So, how'd ya like it? Yeah, this is not a NaruIno. Next chapter I will introduce Hinata to the mix. That will be interesting. Anyway, please review.**


End file.
